'Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"' Matthew 14:31
I rarely doubt Him, or His Goodness, or His plans for my life - the big things. I rejoice and trust in all of those things knowing that He my best aligned. I doubt in the little things - mostly I doubt myself. I wrestling with where He is calling me. I question my own abilities. I challenge who He has made me to be. I doubt.
Through a nursing experience where I completely failed - the Lord spoke so loudy to me. My professor sat me down in a small room, placed her hand on my leg and asked me, 'Traci, why did you doubt yourself?' Boom. Just like that my world started spinning. I knew in this moment that I had failed terribly, I heard the Lord speak those words so loudy and clearly to me. Incredible. He has been trying to teach me all year to believe in myself, to be confident, to know that He has placed knowledge in me and to share it. All year there have been little things here and there, people's words, His word, little by little I have been transformed. He has been teaching me to step up and step out - all the while I still doubt if I am capable. This time the Lord didn't speak too softly, He screamed. I needed the Lord to grab my attention - He did. Message sent and lesson re-learned. I didn't believe in myself. I knew the right thing. I hesitated and questioned. I doubted my knowledge.
I am so thankful that He spoke to me in this way. I am grateful that I failed. I couldn't have orchestrated it better if I had tried. I needed to fail. I needed to learn. I needed to hear Him speak to me. I in turn received beautiful affirmation from Him and from those same professors.
He spoke. He humbled. He comforted. He taught. He provided. He filled.
He was faithful through it all.
No comments:
Post a Comment