To whom do you belong?

Why do we let people define us?  Why do we allow the world to define us?  Why do we allow the things we do to give our lives purpose and meaning?  How is it that is is so easy for up to forget who we are?  We have pages upon pages of a letter written to us showing us our worth and identity and yet one sentence from a friend or one business title and we forget those pages of truth telling us who we are. Truly the only question that matters is to whom do you belong?  We belong to the King.

You my sister are a Daughter of the King, a lover of people and friend to all.  Everyday the world around us, the people we interact with and the way we are treated try to place labels and definitions on us.  It is up to each of us to recognize those lies and labels and take them off.  Take off the labels that award position and status.  Take off the labels that place expectations.  We must fight to cling to the One that gives life.  The One who gives purpose and validates our every need.

I am at a place today of total surrender and entirely humbled.  I have nothing.  I am unemployed.  I do not have a car.  Soon to be homeless.  I am struggling with allowing these to define me.  I believe that I am nothing based on these stats.  That is a bad place to be as it rocks my core.  It causes me to be unsure of where He has me, unclear on who I am to be loving and serving and challenges me to cling to the truth that He is only Good.  I desperately want things or status so I can have purpose and I can boast in what I do, not whose I am (the one thing that never changes).  I am nothing but a body, hands and feet.  I am His beautiful daughter.  I get to allow Him to move in and through me.  What more could I even thing of wanting?  Deep down, I just want Him.  I want to be where He can use me and I want to honor Him with my moments and days.  I want my life to be used for His Glory.  This is the same whether I am employed full time or if I was homeless and living on the streets.  It is humbling and challenging as to where we find our purpose and importance.  We are wired and trained by the world to need to do and earn.  All He asks is for us to be. A total opposite mindset.  Simply just to be.  Be His, be open and be available to whatever He might be asking. He does not assign worth based on our performance.  Our worth in Him is solidified and was confirmed when Jesus stayed on the cross for us. He sacrificially loved each of us showing that real love knows no bounds.  This same real love transforms powerfully and lasts for an eternity.

Our purpose and importance does not change based on our titles at work, where we live or how many digits are in my bank account.  The amount of money on our direct deposit summary gives us no more importance than the number of diapers we change in a day nor the amount of friends we have. We are each responsible for different tasks in a given day, week and lifetime.  We are each on a specific path and following hard after Him looks uniquely to us individually.  What do we have in common?  We are all called to humble ourselves, pick up our cross and follow hard after Him daily.  But what is hindering this? Are we placing our importance on our jobs and performance there? Do we feel more important because of where our paycheck comes from?  Are we trying to earn our accomplishments or prove our importance?  The things we earn do not impress our God nor do the titles we use gain us any more self-confidence.  He gave us all the purpose we need when He died on the cross for us. When we chose to follow Him and give our lives to Him, we signed up to give our lives away.  This includes the need for validation and importance.  Why is it challenging to us when it comes time to truly give it away?  We are confused that He would ask us of our life showing humility; reality is He gave us our life.  He cherishes our moments of humility.  He values those moments of brokenness when all we can do is bow our knees and maybe raise our hands in total surrender.  He uses the broken and weary to show His Glory.

          The truth is we have everything we could ever want or need.  We have a Father who is more powerful than anything on this earth.  We have a Friend who is more faithful than any best friend we could have. We have a Provider who has sustained our every need.  We have a Spirit of wisdom and discernment that guides us through open and closed doors and all those forks in the road.  We have a God of order, He smoothes over the chaos and puts all confusion back into order. We have the Word to guide us in relationships and teach us who He is at the core. We have access to the most gracious and loving God.  Embrace Him a little more today.  Receive the grace that so freely flows.  Release the desires and lies of this world to have more of Him.  Remember you are loved and cherished based on Whose you are, not what you have done.

Dumpster Diving

Oh golly.  You know those times when you feel like the world is spinning and you have no idea what to do,  the only logical thing to do is run away from it all and hide?  Okay, maybe that is just me and maybe running and hiding isn't the most logical option :)  That happened this week.  I was overwhelmed with the sticky situation I had oh so gracefully gotten myself into.  

To be real honest, I did not know what to think, feel, do, say or anything.  I felt paralyzed.  I was quite the hot commodity when my roommate came home and I was sitting on the floor halfway in the closet digging through a pile of sneakers looking for my running shoes to go for an 11pm run.  Yes, that really did happen.  She is oh so lovely and immediately knew something was up.  Could have been my peculiar behavior, my out of the ordinary word choice or her brilliance in knowing my heart and spirit was the opposite of resting at that moment. 

It was in this moment where in our safe friendship and unexplainable way of understanding one another that we got to go dumpster diving, one of the best past times I might add. 

They may be a little older than us, but they are enjoying themselves equally.  

Friendship and community are needed to thrive.  They need to be safe.  There is nothing more beautiful than sitting on the floor nearing midnight digging through your heart, being honest with yourself and counsel and illuminating some of the darkest places within your heart.  There is so much freedom found in the digging, scrapping and rummaging through ones heart.  What do you need to rummage through? Who is safe for you to rummage with?  Why are you placing those pieces in the dumpster?  It is time for us all to be real and be honest.  Let's dig and dig together.  

When you forget who you are.

I forgot who I was.   I was living each day fully present and completely absent at the same time.  I felt so full of life and empty of purpose and direction simultaneously. I felt like rejoicing, dancing and singing to my Papa and I felt like curling up in a ball and staying in my bed forever.  While let’s be real much of these hot and cold emotions could literally be from me either having a killer headache and high fever; feeling like death or being completely fine and having to issues at all.  I have been this way for two weeks, hot and cold emotions and body too.  All of this good and bad was slowly making me numb to all things both emotionally and spiritually.  This I think is something we can all relate to – feeling numb. 

Well when you live alone in Africa, what is a girl to do?  Come to Jesus.  Cast my worries, fears and anxieties unto Him.  Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  Turn to His Word for truth, strength and comfort.  Rely fully on Him to truly provide and be my everything.  Become steadfast in mind as I full heartedly trust in Him. 

Obviously I know what to do.  I know the right actions and words.  My deepest desire is to walk each of those things out completely and effortlessly.  I completely desire to come, cast, trust and rely.  But I found myself unable to actually do those things and powerless when it came to receiving the benefits of peace and rest as I come to Him.  Something was standing in the way of my will and reality.

I believe I was choosing to believe lies.  I picked up the labels and names that others have placed on me.  In doing so I took off the labels that He had placed on me.  I forgot who my Daddy said I was.  This fault of mine was the barrier holding me back from my hearts desires to be fully dependent on Him. 

This is humbling to me not only because I know I made my Father grieve as He watched me wrestle and question who I was.  Also because I spend a good deal of time walking through life with friends proclaiming truths over them.  Humbled because He was patiently waiting for me to listen to Him.  Instead of reading, journaling, singing, praying I simply needed to sit.  This moment of surrender and new understanding came not by anything I did, but from Him and His deep always and forever love for me. 

Thank you Papa for forgiving me as I walked disobediently.  Thank you for loving me all the more and for always fighting for me to be close to you.  Thank you for speaking to me and for showing me who I am in you.  Please help my dear friends to understand who they are.  Tear down any barriers that are preventing them from believing Your Word and Your Truth.  Please whisper, yell, flash lights, or bring them to the place I was at completely broken with nothing to offer but my days on end of sitting in Your presence.

I have new eyes for the beauty of brokenness. In my brokenness, I truly had nothing to offer by my physical body and that in itself is half way here.  The beauty is that He rejoiced over all of me as I sat surrendered to Him.  I had nothing to give but my heart was to give everything I am, this is right where He wanted me.  He met me in my place of total surrender and worship and He said she is mine.  He is taking the pieces of me and He is doing everything in my life and I am in, ALL IN!

Today I am choosing to walk with more confidence and authority; a renewed spirit.  I am a daughter of the King.  I am His bondservant.  I am an encourager of the discourages.  I am a lover of children.  I am a friend to all.  I am beloved.  I am chosen by Him.  He loves me.  I am faithfully following Him.  I am gentle and kind.  I am worthy to call upon His Name.  I am more than enough for Him (even in that broken place). 

If you feel like you have been numb, isolated, or broken please know you are not walking alone.  He is alongside you in your battle and He has given you all the resources you need and the ability to thrive.  He sees your need and He is there.  He is with you every moment of every day.  In moments of darkness and selfishness, when we literally have nothing to offer but broken pieces – those moments He delights in and rejoices over our worship to Him.  He is a repairer, restorer and redeemer!  When you have nothing but pieces, confused thoughts and doubts, you are still ENOUGH my dear. 

Please join me in remembering the truth about who you are.  I am choosing one truth a day and walking confidently in that.  Join me – you have nothing but lies to loose and everything to gain!

You are loved.  Cherished.  Beautiful.  Valued.  Chosen.  Free.  Made new.  Pursued.  Safe.  Called.  Worthy.  Enough.  His Child.  Known.  Seen.  Wise.  Heard.  Understood.  Saved.  Never alone.  Strong.  Talented.  Smart.  Molded.  Transformed.  Unique.  Human.  Created.  Forgiven.  Rescued.  Treasured.  Redeemed.  

He loves us so.

Dear Sweet daughter of mine, 

I love you with an everlasting love.  I see you.  I see your need and I am doing all I can to be the one to comfort you, guide you, and meet you in the middle of your need.  Slow down, wait for me to catch up to you.  You are walking too fast.  Live fully in each moment, wait for me in each moment.  Let us journey together.  Life is so much better when we face it hand in hand.  Thank you for loving on my children for me.  Let me love on you for a bit, for you are precious in my sight and I love you ever more.  Come, sit, and just be with me.  I long just to see you and be in your presence.  I love talking with you often, but nothing is better than truly being together.  I am looking forward to seeing you next already.  I love you my sweet sweet girl, 

Daddy

Ps.  You will always have a special place in my heart and my lap is always reserved for you.  Come. 

A letter for you sister.

Dear Daughter of the King,

You are not alone right now.  He sees you.  He feels your heartache and He is holding you while you let the tears roll off that beautiful face of yours.  He is with you.  Please dear sister, do not pretend to have it all together, be real with where you are at.  Allow others, the loving community around you come and meet you in those moments of pain and moments of true angst and ache. Please let me love you and comfort you, but most importantly allow our Father to reach down and pick you up.  He is waiting eagerly to take you to the Rock higher than yourself.  He wants you in His Shelter, to rest and recuperate. He wants to bring life back into you worthy daughter.

Truth. You are His creation too, beautiful and wonderful. 

Psalm 91: Security of the One Who Trusts in the LORD.

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

          Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,

          My God, in whom I trust!”

3 For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper

          And from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with His pinions,

          And under His wings you may seek refuge;

          His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

5 You will not be afraid of the terror by night,

          Or of the arrow that flies by day;

6 Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

          Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

7 A thousand may fall at your side

          And ten thousand at your right hand,

          But it shall not approach you.

8 You will only look on with your eyes

          And see the recompense of the wicked.

9 For you have made the LORD, my refuge,

          Even the Most High, your dwelling place.

10 No evil will befall you,

          Nor will any plague come near your tent.

11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,

          To guard you in all your ways.

12 They will bear you up in their hands,

          That you do not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra,

          The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.

14 “Because he (she) has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him (her);

          I will set him (her) securely on high, because he (she) has known My name.

15 “He (She) will call upon Me, and I will answer him (her);

          I will be with him (her) in trouble;

          I will rescue him (her) and honor him (her).

16 “With a long life I will satisfy him (her)

          And let him (her) see My salvation.”

This is a temporary battle, you will make it through this time because He is your song and your strength. He delivers you and He will cover you. He has not left your side, in fact that ease you are feeling right now is Him.  He is embracing you and reminding you that He has got it all covered.  He is reminding you not to fret, instead trust and entrust.  He loves you and He will work all things together for the good of those who love Him.  And you sister love Him deeply.  Your good is living closer to Him and in deeper communication, dependence, and alignment with His will and purpose for you.  You have never been closer to Him.  Surrender and allow Him to show up and remind you of His love and grace.

I am here to listen, to carry you, to remind you of the truths you know deep down.  You are not alone, you will never be alone.  You are loved deeply and prayed for often.  Keep walking, the journey is a beautiful one! Rest in Him knowing you are walking this well.

Unique, intricate and beautiful.

He has made each of us so differently.  He has placed different joys, passions, and desires in each of us.  You are intricately designed, formed, and molded.  The way you think is unique to you, same with the way you perceive things, and the intention you have when speaking and acting.  There is only one you in this world.  You have specific tasks that He created for you to complete.  When I look at this leaf, I think about how much time, thought, and design was placed in creating that master piece.  The craftsman must have planned working diligently and patiently.  Now, this is merely a leaf, the design was completed with human hands.  We are humans and were formed by the Hand of God.  How much more time, attention to detail, and effort was used in creating you and me? I can only imagine.  I can only imagine how proud the craftsman is of this leaf, he who faithfully carved each bit of it.  How much joy he has in I showing everyone what he has created.  God does that with you and with me.  He shows the whole world His creation.  He is proud of the work He did in you.  He uses you for His glory.  He looks at you and smiles.  He takes joy in you.

God gives each of us joys and passions aside from Him.  These unique giftings bring Him honor and glory. We are worshipping Him when we use the talents He has given us.  God’s glory is the sum of all His attributes. We must exercise the attributes that He has placed in us.  We do this best in community when we can better draw out His characteristics from one another.  In community we can live out compassion, grace, mercy, love, and so many more things of Him.   

I learn more about who I am and who He has made me to be by spending time with you.  I love how I get to see Him in you.  Embracing those attributes that He has formed in you brings me joy.  I feel that I get to understand a new piece of Him when I recognize those in you.  Truly learning how He created strengths and weaknesses in us for His glory is a wonderful thing.  I understand how much I need community.  You teach me and grow me.  You live fully for Him and spur me on to become more like Him daily.  You embody the phrase inspire through example so beautifully.  Thank you for being you.  We need more of you in this world.   

He who formed us calls us holy and blameless.  He calls us by name to be His sons and daughters.  He adopts us into His family and labels us as priests.  Please do the things that bring you joy.  Seek opportunities to love and bless others with the very things that make your heart skip a beat.  Those passions He placed in you are unique to you.  Make His Name known by doing the things you love.

Please come back to life again.

I love you.  I love you more than you or I could understand.  I love you not only with my whole heart, but with His love that fills me up.  He has placed you in my life and heart for many reasons I am sure.  I simply cannot imagine my life without you.  You are irreplaceable to me. 


With that, my heart breaks when I see you or talk with you.  My heart hurts to see you held in chains.  I weep at the thought of you passively watching your life go by.  I have countless hopes and dreams for you, yet to be fulfilled.  I see so much in you that He wants to use, grow, and affirm.  I see how He is pursuing you continually.  He is romancing you day by day, and you are not seeing it.  You are so focused on yourself that you are missing the God of the universe perusing your heart!!  I see you stuck still, held captive, and immovable by choice.  I desire so much more for you, and He desires so much more for you too.

"The Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." 

2 Timothy 2:24-26

I know that it is scary.  It is hard, but it is time to repent, to turn from your ways and choose His ways.  His perfect love will cast away all your fears.  It is time to release yourself from this bondage.  Jesus came and gave you true freedom and real joy.  He suffered. He was bound to the cross and He chose to stay there for you.  It must have been hard and scary, but He chose to trust.  You need to choose Him.  You need to choose freedom.  You need to choose to trust.  I am not saying this path will be easier, but it is the right path.  By choosing to release yourself from this bondage you will receive Him and Him to the fullest.  You will have life breathed back into you.  You will have joy in abundance! He has been fighting for you this whole time, but the time for you to change your ways is now.  

"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery." 

Galatians 5:1

I pray that you release yourself, that you cut away the chains holding you back.  I will be right here waiting.  I will be waiting with open arms to embrace you, listening ears to hear your story, and feet ready to walk this journey with you.  You are not alone.  God has gone before you, He is with you now, and He is behind you too picking up all the broken pieces.  I know it can be scary and there is fear in change, but I promise you this change is Good.  Entrust yourself to Him.  Commit your life to Him.  Place your hope in Him. 

"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn...then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, they will raise up the former devastations; and they will repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations." 

Isaiah 61:1-4

I will never stop fighting for you.  I will continue to pray for you.  I believe you will be freed from this stronghold in your life.  I will keep speaking truth to you.  I will not give up.  You are worth it and I love you!